As with most people I often like to know the outcome of what is coming up in my life. I'd like to have the future predictable so I won't get caught off guard. This need comes from growing up in a dysfunctional household where things were not always predictable. I remember feeling shattered emotionally at times. To gain predictability I found myself over time having an increasing expecting nature about myself. I expected people and situations to be the way I thought they ought to be. This expectation would ens
ure I wouldn't be caught off guard. Some people thought of me as controlling due to my expecting nature. I was like this from my teen years into my mid 20's. I entered into Alcohol and Drug 12 step recovery at the age of 25. After beginning my healing journey I was introduced to the word acceptance. It was suggested to me to accept what I couldn't change and to lose the expectations/control I had practiced for so long. I found the more I accepted people and situations for being what they were I was able to have a feeling of serenity/peace of mind.
Since that time I've always said these words "When I'm expecting, I'm not accepting and when I don't accept I don't have peace of mind. This is why the CD I created with my piano music is entitled Reaching For Serenity.